The Best Relationship Advice I Ever Got

No doubt, there are days when you feel as though you deserve the "Best Partner in the World" award: You make sure dates with your mate stay fun, you settle arguments with amazing grace and you don't always go into whining mode when you find his dirty socks next to, rather than in, the hamper. How did you get so smart? You were given some stellar advice from friends and family. Here, the nuggets of relationship wisdom you've stayed faithful to over the years.

#1. Polite Fight

"On my wedding-invitation RSVP cards, I left space for guests to write their favorite wedding wisdom. The tidbit that rings truest after almost nine months of marriage is: 'Attack the issue, not each other.' How it works: If my husband and I disagree about something, we stay focused on the issue and skip the personal put-downs." -- Melissa Gitter Schilowitz, 31, Metuchen, NJ

#2. Fit to a Tee

"My grandmother insisted that I learn how to play golf. 'If your husband loves to play, you can go along and spend hours together,' she said. So I took lessons, and now my husband and I hit the links once a month. We both love the game and are thrilled to share a hobby, even when we spend half an hour looking for my out-of-bounds balls!" -- Aimee Borders, 27, Houston, TX

#3. Tabletop Trick

"My aunt told me that if I'm running late when it's my turn to make dinner, just set the table. That way my husband thinks he'll be eating any minute, so he doesn't start complaining, which buys me some time. It's a silly trick that sounds straight out of the 1950s, but I have to admit that I've tried it a few times in the three years I've been married -- and it works!" -- Dawn Clayton, 34, Holdrege, NE

#4. Boob-Tube Brilliance

"Because my husband is such a remote-control freak, my mom suggested that we have 'my turn' TV nights. That means three nights a week I get to hold the remote and watch whatever I want, and on the other nights it's his turn to hold the remote and watch whatever he wants. Now when he starts flipping through the channels, it doesn't get on my nerves like it used to." -- Angela Clayton, 27, Odenton, MD

#5. Pop the Question

"My sister-in-law passed this helpful hint on to me, and it has served me well for our five years of wedded bliss: 'Marriage is not mind reading, so ask your spouse what he/she wants and believe what he/she says.'" -- Clare Graca, 27, Dallas

#6. Nix the Nit-Picking

"Before I said 'I do,' my mom (who's been married to my dad for 55 years) told me to take out a piece of paper and write down the top three things that bugged me about my husband-to-be. Then she told me to forget the things on that list and forgive him for not being flawless. Once you make a commitment this big, she explained, you can't let petty things get in the way. In our eight years of marriage, my husband and I have had two kids, tackled cross-country moves and started two businesses -- and so far, so great."-- Rebecca Hart Blaudow, 31, Jacksonville, FL

#7. Space Smarts

"Always have separate closets, my best friend told me. It may seem silly, but I listened to her and made sure to find a one-bedroom apartment with two closets (mine being the larger, of course). Now my husband and I each have our own private space, and we respect that: If he wants to keep his shoes in one huge heap or leave his dirty clothes in a pile on the floor, the mess doesn't bother me a bit!" -- Patricia Bontekoe, 26, Lake Hiawatha, NJ

#8. Agree to Disagree

"Before we got married, my minister told my husband and me, 'You are two imperfect people making an imperfect union, and that's wonderful.' This advice made me ditch my belief that in a happy marriage, the couple always agrees. My husband and I have learned to appreciate our differences (yes, even differences of opinion!); in fact, we encourage them because we realize now that those differences are what makes each of us unique and special." -- Beth Swanson, 28, Chicago

#9. Comic Relief

"Before I headed down the aisle, my stepfather told me to always laugh and never take myself too seriously. After four years of marriage, I know that this trick works. My husband and I often play practical jokes on each other and always try to crack each other up, even in the middle of an argument. Hey, if one person laughs, a fight tends to fizzle, doesn't it?" -- Lisa Giassa, 31, Bogota, NJ

Anti-Pop Advice From the Experts

You've probably heard a few of these pieces of marital pop wisdom before. If so, these marriage experts say to promptly forget 'em.

Love means never having to say you're sorry. "Oh, please! In marriage, love sometimes means having to say you're sorry even if you don't know what you did or you didn't mean to do it." -- Trisha Taylor, psychotherapist, Houston, TX

Always be totally honest. "What are you going to do, tell him that he's just too short and you can't stand his mother? Sometimes you need to temper the truth." -- Tara Fields, Ph.D., marriage, family and child therapist, Marin County, CA

Children come first. "This is bad advice if it means your husband always comes second. Of course you should love and care for your kids, but you should never lose sight of your couple-ness. The best thing a child can have is happy, fulfilled parents who are deeply in love." -- Mary Pender Greene, chief of social work services, Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services, New York

Always keep the peace. "No, no, no. If you don't face a hot issue head-on, you'll stockpile negative feelings. And before you know it, 20 years go by and you're still fighting over the same thing because you never resolved it in the first place." -- Rebecca S. Ward, M.S.W., psychotherapist, Little Rock, AR

Never go to bed angry. "Forget it. Often a couple needs time to calm down before they can rationally wrap up an argument. And that may take a few days, so in the meantime, get some sleep!" -- Gilda Carle, Ph.D., psychotherapist, New York

Appearing Attractive To The Female Gender

A male can better his chances at attracting a female by doing several things to his appearance and modifying his behavior. In doing so, a male can see better success in not only meeting women, but also getting future dates and possibly setting up a real relationship.

Women who meet a man under the pretense that he is wealthy tend to have a higher chance of responding well to the question of dating. This holds true for men who meet wealthy women as well- since wealth means that you hold a certain amount of power in society. It also almost guarantees that dates won't be boring and that fun times may be had.

One of the first few things that a woman will notice is how you smell. Those who smell quite well will find themselves farther along that those who haven't worn cologne. Certain types of cologne have been shown to help increase one's chances- generally the more expensive the better. Be certain not to wear too much or you will ruin your efforts. If she calls attention to your good smell, always reply politely and change the subject.

There is nothing worse than a boring date- you won't need and help figuring that out. But you should always have things to bring up in conversation either about yourself, your own experiences, or your date that you can talk about. Keeping a busy talking environment will show that woman that you have a fun personality type, and that a second date would be a good idea.

Women typically like a guy who is somewhat mysterious. This means you shouldn't spill all the details about you and your life on the first date. Instead, ask the woman questions and let her talk. It is a common fact that we all love to talk about ourselves- so it certainly will let the woman enjoy herself while you formulate new topics of discussion and fun. Don't be afraid to talk- just don't steal the show.

If you show signs of being dependent upon the woman, chances are she won't be too inclined to ask for a second date. Do try to talk about your friends and family life, your responsibilities, and things you like to do for fun. In doing so, you are showing to the woman that you won't always be available- which is actually a very good thing for budding relationships.

Closing Comments

Don't view dating as a win or lose scenario, but rather a fun hobby that will eventually lead to having a proper woman friend as a date or possibly more in the future. Do continue talking to your normal friends and carrying on your normal life even with a woman by your side; the process isn't something to ignore your life over.

Christians Cheat Too

Were you aware that as many of 22% of men cheat on their girlfriends. Do not think that for a minute that since you are in a Christian, God fearing relationship, that yoou will not have possible problems in your love life. On the contrary, you could have just as many if not more.

As many as 22% of women are cheated on by their loving boyfriends or husbands. That is a pretty high number. On the contrary, only about 12% of women cheat on their men. Go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back ladies, you deserve it. Most of you are faithful Christian women.

Many fellow Christians have the feeling that they will not have thee problems that their non-Christian counterparts will have. This could not be further from the truth. Being in a Christian relationship can make things more complicated if anything. Being a modern Christian you have choices and you can decide how to live your life.

So how do you find out if your boyfriend is a liar and cheat? There are many ways, and we are going to discuss them here. The best place to start is with yourself. How do you feel about this guy, are you in love with him? If you are having problems even understanding your feelings for him, there may be a problem, and a big one at that. Statistics show us that most (not all of course) of the time if you feel your boyfriend is cheating, then he most likely is. Sometimes we have to listen to our gut feeling. After you get in touch with your own feelings and you want to continue the relationship, then you need to find out if he is really cheating or not.

There are a series of questions that you need to ask yourself when confronted with this problem, if you really want to find out the truth of whether he is cheating or not. If you answer yes to any of them, you may have a problem that needs to be looked into further. Has he started to work out a lot when he used to not care? This does not necessarily mean a shift of attention from you, maybe he is just wanting to look and feel good, so you need to be careful how you answer this question. you need to put it in context. He is spiritually and emotionally distant. Did he used to go to church with you every Sunday but now tries to find excuses not to? All of these are important signs to look for.

So now you are convinced that you have a cheating boyfriend, what do you do now? The first thing you need to do is get on your knees and pray about it. You really need to start praying about the situation before it gets worse. Confront him with your feelings, and realize that if God wants you in the relationship it will work out, if not, God has other plans and paths for you life. Keep your head up, everything is in God's will and it shall be done.

Attracting A Woman

Almost any guy is going to want to know - how do I attract women?

We're not all so lucky to have genes like a male model. Most are average or below average in the looks category. And even the good looking guys can have trouble attracting women!

So what does that mean for all of us who want to get a woman all hot-and-bothered? Well, the logical conclusion is this:

Attraction cannot depend on what you look like!

Obsessing over your looks (or lack of them) is a sure-fire way to take yourself out of the attraction game before things have even gotten started. Understand that you need to take care of yourself and tailor your appearance as well as you possibly can. But short of extensive and painful plastic surgery, you can't change what you look like.

So if you can't change it - deal with it!

Luckily, there's more to attraction than just your physical features. Accept that you look like the way you are, and deal with the things you CAN change, and actually have control over.

See, the "attraction equation" is more than just about being a good looking guy. It's about your attitude, your intellect, and your social skills and status.

1. Attitude Is Everything

Having the right attitude is essential to generating attraction. Confidence is key, here. Being secure in who you are and what you're after is a great way to show people that you're someone they will want to meet and hang out with.

And with the right attitude, your body language and non-verbal communication will naturally broadcast to those around you that you are an attractive person.

2. Try having intelligent conversations

It's a given that attraction is rooted in conversation. Your words will allow a woman to move towards the type of emotions you want, and will allow you to captivate her.

You can do this two ways. The first is to ask questions, and show interest in her replies. The second is to tell stories.

Stories are the best way to make people experience emotion. Everyone loves stories, and if you have good ones to tell, people will love talking to you.

3. Master Your Social Skills

Being attractive is about interacting with people in the right way. You need to be fun, entertaining, and a good conversationalist.

You also have to know what's appropriate in certain social situations. Being loud and boisterous at a fancy dinner party may not be a good thing to do. Always be aware of the environment you're in and act accordingly.

Be laid back, and try not to take things too seriously. Getting insulted or frustrated when things aren't going as you planned is a sure fire way to alienate the people you're trying to attract. Allow yourself room to mess up if necessary, and keep from being insulting or rude.

But most of all - have fun! The best way to be social and attract people to you is to have a good time. People love having a good time! In fact, they will seek you out if you can be the source of their fun.

4. Cultivate A High Social Status

More than anything else, having a high social status will attract more people to you than you know what to do with. And social status doesn't have to have anything to do with how much money you make or how good looking you are. In fact, social status can be completely manufactured!

By being the life of the party, or dominating the conversation, you can show people you're someone who demands attention. By being funny or witty, intelligent, commanding, and confident, people will naturally defer to you.

If you can pull this off, you'll be able to parlay it into a position of authority amongst your peers. And over time, people will see this happening consistently, and your social status will grow higher.

When you combine these four factors, you can powerfully attract any woman you choose. (And the best part is - none of it depends on your looks!)

Getting Past Your Looks And Creating Attraction

A tremendous issue I deal with when it comes to my students is this: the looks issue. Several of them think they are just too ugly to attract a nice looking woman.

It's an insecurity that comes in all sorts of masks. Some examples:

Some guys think they're too old.

Some think they're too fat.

Some think they're too short.

Some think they're too ugly.

Because of this, these men feel they are helpless when it comes to getting the kind of woman they desire.

But lucky for all of us - this simply isn't the case.

I want to take a moment and dispell a few attraction myths that hold men back from achieving success in their love life.

Myth #1 - You have to be good looking to get women.

All you have to do is look around at the various types of guys in this world who are dating gorgeous women to know that this isn't the case.

Here's one of my rules of thumb: It's important to look good. It's NOT important to be good looking!

What's the difference?

You can't make yourself good looking- that's genetics (though some plastic surgeons might argue this.) You DO have utter control how you present yourself. Your clothing, grooming, haircut, body odor, etc..

All these appearance factors contribute to "looking good."

Even the most average looking guy can be attractive when he takes control of his appearance.

Myth #2 - Women Think Like Men Do

It's natural to assume that everyone else in the world sees things the same way you see them.

For instance - If you've ever had a pimple on your forehead that felt so big, it was like everyone could see it. But the pimple was under the skin, and in reality, no one but you could tell it was there.

To you, it was clear as day. To everyone else, it was hardly noticable.

When it comes to appraising other people, this methodology is typically applied. You judge a woman based on how she looks, right? You're able to size a woman up visually and determine whether or not you find her attractive, correct?

So naturally, you assume women are going to size you up the same exact way.

WRONG.

Women have different criteria for determining attraction than men do. That's not to say they don't care if a man is attractive or not. But they don't place as much importance on physical characteristics as us guys do.

Women base their attraction on a broader range of things. How a man makes her feel is of utmost importance. Confidence, and social status in turn, are huge attractors. So is a man who can make her laugh. They are enthralled by a man who is good at what he does. And NONE of that has to do with looks!

You Can Get Your Girlfriend Back Even if She Refuses to See You

There are plenty of tips online on how to get your ex girlfriend back, but most of them expect her to at least be willing to pick up the telephone when you ring her up. What are you supposed to do if she won't even talk to you? Here are a few ideas:

Let her acknowledge you are available

You've probably discovered the advice that if you require to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, the readiest way is to make her envious by making her believe you're going out with other girls. Well, the problem is this can easily boomerang on you.

Even if she was getting to miss you, if she finds out you've commenced dating, she'll assume you no longer have feelings for her. So, be sure your common friends know you are yet single.

Better yourself

Of course, being available doesn't signify staying home waiting by the phone all day. Alternatively to expending your vitality looking for a fresh girlfriend, place it in self-improvement. Particularly if you lived in a long-term relationship, you will be better off making some time to yourself to do something that will better your self-assurance as individual, whether it's learning a new skill or just spending more time practicing what you love. Your ex will see you can dwell without her and respect you all the more for it.

Write a love letter

Not a telephone call, not an email, not an Instant Message -an actual handwritten letter. It may represent an old fashioned method for how to get your ex girlfriend back, but it works because there are very few women who will not read a handwritten note. That means you will at least find a chance to explain what you're feeling.

While it's best to put it all in your own words, if you truly feel like you don't know what to articulate, get a female acquaintance to service you or sneak a few ideas (ideas, not complete sentences) from samples online. Remember, the face of the missive is virtually as important as the words. Write your letter on fancy stationary, stick it in a matching envelope, seal it with true sealing wax and send it off.

Keep it light hearted

When you do get a chance to talk to her again, keep the mood upbeat. Don't begin apologizing for everything you ever did improperly, imploring her to meet with you, or debating over what stimulated the separation. After all, would you look ahead to meeting a person who's obviously an emotional wreck?

Instead, hand her an indication that seeing you again will be entertaining and won't demand any bickering or fawning. If at all possible, make her laugh. You'll get her to permit her guard down and take out the "bad taste" left after the breakup.

If you really want to recognize how to get your ex girlfriend back even when she will not return your telephone calls, remain assured that it can be done. Make use of common friends to let her know you're available but not wasting away from sorrow, then mail her a missive to have contact once again. Beyond that, be heedful where get advice on how to get your girlfriend back because some ideas can really boomerang on you.

Creation Of Attraction & The Myth Of Looks

In this part we'll go further and look at two more myths pertaining to your looks and their attraction.

Myth 1 - Women Hone In On Our Flaws

Understand that we know ourselves better than anyone else ever will. We are able to pick out every single flaw there is about ourselves - our big ears, big nose, weak chin, receeding hairline...

No matter what it is, we see it!

And because we see it, we assume everyone else does too. But the fact is, most people aren't very observant, and unless they specifically look for something to criticize you about, they're not going to care about your insecurities, whatever they may be.

A lot of guys try and dismiss their insecurities by calling attention to it, as if to try and "diffuse" whatever it is they feel is ugly about them. But all this does is draw the woman's attention to this insecurity, and only at that point do people notice it.

And insecurity is always UNattractive.

It's important, in every situation, that you always focus on the good stuff about you, instead of your shortcomings, and have the positives outshine the negatives.

Myth 2- Good Looking Guys Have It Easy

This is probably the biggest myth there is - that if a guy is good looking, girls will automatically flock to him.

A very handsome man is going to have issues whether or not he's handsome, and sometimes he'll have a whole different set than you or I. He might have an easier time getting in the door, but in the end he'll have the same problems that most do.

Attraction is all about creating, and amplifying, certain emotions in women, and then having those specific emotions "attached" to you, so you'll be the source of them for her.

If a man matches a woman's physical type, she'll gravitate to him because those features make her feel good. But if the guy is boring, or a jerk, or just not compatible, those feelings will go away.

However, if you take a guy that the woman maybe isn't initially physically attracted to, and then have him make her experience feelings of fun, excitement, and pleasure - she WILL become attracted to him eventually.

This is the fundamental concept of attraction - when you make other people feel good, they will want to be around you.

You don't have to be a good guy to make women feel good! You just need to know how to interact with them.

But the second aspect to this equation is physical attraction.

This is where, in addition to making people feel good, you also turn them on.

Seduction is the next step here.

When you begin to lead a woman down the path of attraction, even if you don't look like Brad Pitt, she's going to begin to see you in a whole new light - despite any of the shortcomings you may think you have.