Monday, 16 March 2009

Fatal Online Dating Errors That Men Make

Some men have absolutely NO sense of etiquette when they're trying to contact women online. During all my years of coaching, women have told me some amazing things men have written to them in emails.

Many men feel they can just say anything in an email when they are trying to get a woman to go out with them. If they said those same things to a woman in a bar or on the street, they might get arrested, or at least slapped. But when they're hiding behind the secrecy of their computer, too many men get abrasive and crude.
Here's my list of 10 things NEVER to do when you're online trying to get a woman to go out with you. Some of these are obvious; some you'll swear I'm making up! But all of them are things men actually do.

Top 10 email turnoffs for women

1. Don't ask her how much she weighs or what her measurements are. You might as well just tell her you only want to sleep with her and you have no interest in getting to know her, because that's what she's going to think if you ask her this.

2. Don't email her seven times asking her why she hasn't responded to your first email. Women get far more email than men do, so you need to be patient.
“Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to respond to you.”
Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to respond to you.

3. Don't ask her how many other dates she's been on from Yahoo! Personals. How many other dates someone has been on is not important. What is important is finding out whether the two of you click when you hang out.

4. Don't send her a nasty email if she hasn't responded to you after several emails. It's her prerogative whether or not she desires to be in contact with you. If she doesn't want to meet you, why get angry and nasty? There are plenty of other women out there who you can contact.

5. Don't ask her if she wants to have sex with you on the second email exchange, and don't send her dirty pictures of you. Women are all about connecting with their minds. Just because you're looking for a quick fling, that doesn't mean she's going to respond.

6. If she gives you her phone number, don't wait a week to call her. By extension, if you do wait a week to call her and she doesn't call you back, don't be shocked. Women have many options online. If she gives you her phone number, I suggest calling her that day. It keeps the momentum going.

7. When asking for more pictures, do so without any references to "Can you please send me a picture so I can see your body?"
“Ask her if she'd like to exchange more pictures”
Ask her if she'd like to exchange more pictures, which means you send some and she sends some. Several women have complained to me that men ask them to send pictures of themselves in bikinis or other such things, so that men can see their body. Men, don't do this!

8. Don't get offended if she doesn't want to talk to you on the phone right away and/or wants to talk to you via email first to get to know you. You need to be flexible and open to her suggestions. Sometimes you may need to email back and forth for a week, and sometimes she'll give you her phone number right away. Either way, don't be rude.

9. Do not email-stalk her. Many of my clients who are single women have complained to me about men who will email them several times a day for three weeks, until they are forced to block emails from those men. Men, she got your email the very first time. She just may have chosen not to open it. By sending emails several times a day, not only are you turning her off, you're freaking her out! You've become an online stalker. That's a guarantee she'll never go out with you.

10. Don't send cut-and-paste emails. When connecting with her for the very first time, don't cut and paste an email message in July that you've been sending out for six months with a tagline that says, "I love the holidays." By doing that, she knows you didn't read her profile - and that you're really, really lazy!

What are women's fatal online dating errors? See them here

Behaviors in Dating That Scare Single Men Away

You're dating a guy, and it's the crucial first few weeks. You really like this guy, and you're wondering what you can do (or avoid doing) to keep this relationship going and not scare him away.
The truth is there are certain things that women can do that will scare men away. Don't sabotage a potentially great relationship that could have gone somewhere by scaring a man off right at the beginning.

Here are six dating behaviors guaranteed to scare men away:

1. Trash-talking your ex. Don't talk negatively about an ex-boyfriend in front of a guy you're dating. I don't care if you're on your first date or on your 15th date with a guy, don't ever trash-talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent a lot of time. So don't talk negatively about your ex in any way, because what a guy thinks when you do this is that if he ever becomes your ex that you're going to trash-talk him the same way. So, when a man asks you about your ex, you can politely say, "We are no longer together. It was a great relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot." That's it.

2. Paranoia runs rampant. Here you are dating a man you really like, and the first couple of weeks are going well. Then, that first boys' night out happens. In the beginning, you send him a text that says, "Have a great time tonight!" As the night progresses, however, seeds of doubt start forming in your mind about what he's doing, and you start to think "Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting with other women? Where is he right now?" So then, you lob another text in to him asking "What's going on? What are you doing right now?" Even though he tells you he's just hanging out with his friends, you proceed to make a major blunder:
“You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away.”
You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away. So when you are dating a man and he's out with his friends, respect his "guy time" -- it will make you the cool woman he's always wanted to find.

3. Trash-talking other women. A huge mistake many women make is trash-talking other women in front of the man they're dating. For example, you are out with him when a woman walks by wearing a skimpy short skirt. You say, "Look how promiscuous that woman looks! I can't believe she is going around in public like that!" What you are doing when you make comments like this to a guy you're dating is telling him that you're not confident in the way you look. It tells him that you don't love who you are and haven't embraced your own body. You are planting a seed of doubt in him, causing him to wonder if he he should date someone else who is more confident (and tolerant). Don't trash-talk other women. It makes you look really insecure.

4. Fishing for compliments. This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here is a typical scenario: The guy you're dating looks at you and says, "You really look beautiful tonight!" Ten minutes later, you look at him and ask, "How do I look tonight?" Stop fishing for compliments. Real compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you when we really mean it. If we don't give a compliment at the exact moment you desire it, just accept it and be OK with that.

5. Clingy and possessive. You don't need to do everything together. You're still getting to know him. If there are things he likes to do that simply don't interest you, be cool with it. You don't have to be joined at the hip. If you are going to a cocktail party together, you don't have to be next to him at every moment. If you see him speaking with some woman at the party, do not immediately run over and start grabbing his hand and giving him a big hug -- and certainly don't do this all night long. You are being clingy and possessive when you do this.

6. Pushing friends on him. Avoid pushing friends on us too soon. Example: A woman will hang out with a guy on the first or second date and say to him, "You have to meet my friends Jenna and Amy. You also have to meet my friends Phil and Anne; they're such a great couple, and you'll love them!" A man hears this and thinks, "I don't even know you yet. Can I get to know you for a month or two before I have to go meet all of your friends and be put on display as 'the boyfriend?'" We don't want to be "the boyfriend" right away. It's too much pressure. We want to get to know you slowly and learn what you're all about. Believe me, once we get to know you -- and like you -- we will be more willing to get to know all of your friends.
Following these tips will help you get past the first month of a new relationship with a man and avoid some of the major pitfalls that can end a new relationship before it even starts. Be the confident woman you really are so we have a chance to embrace you. Don't scare us off before we have a chance to get to know you!

Link Between Scent and Seduction

Research suggests that perfume not only makes you feel more attractive, but it can also act as a carnal catalyst. The more you know about scents, the better you can harness their power...

Your perfume pick can make him feel special.
"If you wear a fragrance you know he likes, it demonstrates that you're paying attention to his tastes and making an effort to please him," says Christopher Brosius, perfumer and founder of CB Limited in New York City. The easiest way to find a perfume he likes: Take him shopping with you. If you can't get him to a perfume counter, rip out a whole bunch of scent strips from a magazine and make him smell them one after the other to see which one he likes best. Give him a cup full of coffee grounds to sniff between whiffs to cleanse his olfactory system. Showing you care about his opinion will stroke his ego, and wearing a perfume he loves ensures he'll always want to nuzzle your neck.

His scent can help you decode his personality.
The cologne a guy wears sends a signal about what he's like and how he wants to be perceived by others, so pay attention to it to gain insight into his passions and deepen your connection with him. Psychologist and sociologist Joachim Mensing, PhD, identifies six male personality types and their preferred fragrances. Men who are uncomplicated and enterprising tend to go for fresh citrus, zesty, and herbaceous scents. Reflective loner types prefer warm, spicy, mysterious, Oriental notes. The supersocial spontaneous male likes light, cool, and invigorating scents; while a more reserved and sophisticated man is into warm, natural, woody fragrances. The suave metrosexual types gravitate toward colognes with leather and tobacco in them. Likewise, rugged noncomformist guys like leathery scents too but with a cooler edge.

His fragrance can make you feel first-kiss butterflies even after months of dating.
"Fragrance memories are a wonderful way of building bonds," says psychologist Carol Christensen, PhD, director of sensory and consumer science at International Flavors and Fragrances, Inc., in New York City. "Smelling a scent or elements of one that your boyfriend sported when you first met can flood your mind with memories and make you feel the same delirious way you did back then." If your guy doesn't wear cologne, help him pick one out to start making those memories now. A sure-to- be-sexy suggestion is musk. According to Christensen, women all over the world universally find it to be especially sensual. Some musky colognes we like: Burberry Brit for Men, $62; Jovan Heat Man Fired Up, $8; Spirit by Antonio Banderas, $30, and Kenneth Cole Reaction, $49. But if you're not a fan of musk, try Lauder Beyond Paradise Men, $39, a musk-free scent that's still ultraseductive.

Your scent can stir up your inner sexpot.

Research shows that fragrance can actually make a woman feel more confident and feminine. In a survey of 113 women, psychologist Rachel S. Herz, PhD, found that 90 percent of respondents in their 20s reported that fragrance made them feel more confident. Eighty-three percent of all respondents claimed fragrance made them feel more appealing to others, and a whopping 92 percent said it made them feel more feminine. Perfumer Sarah Horowitz-Thran of Creative Scentualization, a fragrance house in Los Angeles that specializes in custom creations, recommends you carefully select a scent you like instead of choosing something that's currently trendy or a friend's favorite. "Your best fragrance is one that makes you feel good about yourself," she says.

Certain aromas can help him recognize how hot you are.

One whiff of a woman's perfume (any feminine scent) can grab a guy's attention and raise his interest in her. And floral odors — especially rose, lily of the valley, and gardenia — lead men to remember events in an especially positive light, according to a study by the Human Emotions Lab at Rutgers University in Piscataway, New Jersey. So if you wear a scent with one or more of these flowery notes on a date, chances are good that the night will linger in your guy's mind, making him eager to see you again as soon as possible. For nights when you want to be seriously seductive, wear yummy-sweet notes like pumpkin and vanilla. They actually can increase the blood flow to his sexual organs and boost his libido.

Four Things Never to Utter Around Him

Here's a dating mystery we're dying to crack: Why is it that even when we guys open up and clue a girl in to our thoughts and experiences, you ladies insist on pushing for more and more intimate info? It's hard for us to relate to your wanting to know everything about us, because even the most love-bitten man doesn't feel the need to be in on every detail about his girl. In fact, certain topics are actually major turnoffs and produce the same skin-crawling effect as hearing fingernails raked across a blackboard. So unless you want your man to secretly wish you came with a mute button, save the following taboo topics for your girlfriends, your mom or your therapist... just not your guy.

Turnoff #1: The Lowdown on Celeb Dirt
"Whenever my girlfriend gets control of the remote, she switches to a gossip channel and goes on about how lucky Cameron Diaz is or how Drew Barrymore lost 10 pounds. Geez, get a freaking life!" -- Paul, 27
"My ex-girlfriend was obsessed with Brad Pitt. She knew more about his life than Angelina Jolie does. Whenever he had a movie coming out, I never heard the end of it. I felt like I was dating a stalker, not to mention the fact that it didn't do wonders for my ego. Brad isn't exactly the worst-looking guy in the world." -- Donald, 26
"I met this really gorgeous British woman at a bookstore, so I invited her to have coffee with me. When I got back to the table with our drinks, she was sitting there with a pile of foreign gossip rags in front of her. Before I knew what hit me, she was talking my ear off about Prince Charles and a bunch of other royals I didn't know and couldn't care less about. I was absolutely bored out of my mind. Well, so much for the theory that smart women hang out in bookstores." -- Andrew, 25

Turnoff #2: Your Ex Files
"I took my old girlfriend to a cute bed-and-breakfast for the weekend, and all she could talk about was how her previous boyfriend had taken her to Paris for a long weekend. Whatever happened to thank you? No wonder we both dumped her." -- Ben, 28
"My girlfriend and I were having brunch one Sunday when we ran into her ex-boyfriend. After he left, she started telling me all about some cross-country trip they took when they were in college. I know there's nothing going on between them, but that doesn't mean I want to hear about the good old days. She should save the reminiscing for her girlfriends." -- Lewis, 27
"My girl asked me to help her put together some do-it-yourself furniture that she'd bought, and I was a total disaster. That's when she went on and on about how good her ex was with tools. The story I enjoyed most was about how he built her a special magazine rack... which, of course, she still has. Now every time I see that thing, I want to break it. I admitted I am no good at this kind of fix-it stuff, so I don't know why she felt the need to rub it in by telling me her ex was the second coming of Bob Vila." -- Ray, 30

Turnoff #3: Your Bad Body Image and Food Issues
"First it was the grapefruit diet. Then it was Jenny Craig. Now it's the Fatkins thing. My girlfriend tries a new diet about once a month, and she explains how she's convinced that this is the one that's going to help her lose weight. I always remind her that the reason I asked her out in the first place is because I think she's beautiful. I wouldn't be attracted to her if she looked like a string bean." -- Derek, 29
"I can never do anything spontaneous with my girl because she won't leave the house unless she looks perfect. It takes longer for her to get ready for dinner than it does for us to actually go out and eat it. First she asks if I like her outfit. Next she asks how her makeup looks. Then she drops the fun-crusher on me: 'Do I look fat?' I get so aggravated. Don't ask for my opinion if you don't want it. By the time she's ready to leave, the evening is already ruined because I'm in such a pissed-off mood." -- Andy, 33

Turnoff #4: Other People's Relationships
"My old girlfriend would gush about how romantic it was that her roommate's boyfriend got down on one knee when he proposed to her. Then she'd tell me every freakin' detail about the wedding plans, from the dress to the cake to the invitations. I didn't really know these people, and I hate hearing about mushy stuff anyway, especially if it has nothing to do with me. I just tuned it all out." -- Steve, 36
"My girlfriend never stops talking about how great her sister's life is. I'm so tired of hearing about her perfect brother-in-law and her two adorable nephews. It's so obvious that she's using the conversation as a steppingstone to talk about when we're going to get married." -- Rob, 36
"My girlfriend loves telling me about how her best friend treats her boyfriend like a pile of garbage, flirting with other guys when he isn't around and spending hours on her laptop to email her exes. I don't want to know the nitty-gritty, because then I feel awkward when I'm around him. Besides, it makes me wonder if my girl is bad-mouthing me behind my back." -- Will, 25
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

Top 10 Relationship Tips

Beginning a relationship is generally the easy part; it's maintaining the connection that gets a little tricky. That's why a growing number of twosomes (whether or not they've tied the knot) are going into couples therapy as a preemptive strike against the tough times that will inevitably hit... and to learn how to keep the good times flowing. To give you a leg up in your love life, we asked the country's top relationship experts to share the most crucial things they've uncovered over the years -- from big-picture philosophies to little gestures that go a long way. These practices will help keep your union in a happy, healthy place.

1. Act Out of Character. Couples develop a particular dynamic: the way they relate to each other that repeats itself over and over. If you break that pattern and act against type -- in a positive way -- you inject new life into the relationship. For example, if you always get angry at your guy when he doesn't follow through on some chore, try addressing him in a nicer, more friendly tone, then thank him when he does a good job. It works every time. -- Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Virginia

2. Get in Touch a Lot. No doubt you hug and kiss each other. But simple acts like stroking his arm while you're watching TV and taking his hand when you're walking down the street are also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on an instinctive level. -- Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples"

3. Take Turns Talking. To make sure you both get a chance to state what's on your mind during a disagreement -- and get your points across -- alternate playing reflective therapist, where one listens while the other talks. -- Psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of "Opening Love's Door"

4. Find the Intersection. When making decisions together, try to find common ground. You each should write down exactly what you want. Let's say you're angling for a vacay in San Francisco to see the sights and hit up the cool shops and restaurants, while he wants a tropical getaway where he can veg out by the pool and sip drinks with umbrellas in the glass. Now that your desires are clearly laid out on paper, you can pick a place that will satisfy both your needs. A cool city, a little sun... how about Miami? -- Paul Dobransky, MD, author of "The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love"

5. Be More Positive Than Negative. There's a more effective way to air grievances than to file an angry complaint. Sandwich your negative comment between two positives. If you want to complain about how he's always late, for example, try something like "You know, I love that you're so laid-back and easygoing, but it really bothers me when you show up so late. I'm sure you can still be the fun guy I adore and also be on time." -- Los Angeles psychologist Yvonne Thomas, PhD

6. Echo Each Other. When you and your man are having a serious relationship talk, it's easy to get so caught up in how you want to respond that you're not really listening to what's being said. That's why it's important for both of you to repeat each other: so you know you've been heard and you feel understood. -- Yvonne Thomas

7. Take a Time-Out. Neither of you is perfect, and the quirks you both have are here to stay. So rather than let those annoying traits work your last nerve, try to get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws, even if it's not immediately recognizable. Instead of getting annoyed when he starts screaming at the TV, for example, remind yourself how much you love his passion. Or if his shyness with new people bugs you, think about how refreshing it is to be with a chill, genuine guy rather than a blowhard who needs to chat with everyone in the room. -- Denver psychologist Jennifer Oikle, PhD, dating coach for Coupling Connection

8. Have His Back. You might not agree with your guy when he's had a riff with a friend or he thinks his boss is being unfair, but you should always be on his side... and vice versa. Otherwise, you'll both feel like you can't count on each other. That doesn't mean you have to take the "you're so right" route all the time. Just hear him out, and let him know that you'll support him no matter what. -- New York City psychotherapist JoAnn Magdoff, PhD

9. Spend a Little Money on Each Other. You don't have to wait for a special occasion to give small presents to show your love. In fact, gifts are more fun -- and meaningful -- when they're not expected. Try to get into the habit of exchanging sweet tokens of appreciation for no particular reason. Don't go and blow your paycheck though. It's not about being extravagant; it's just a way of showing that you really get -- and think about -- each other. Maybe you buy him a tee of his favorite band that you saw on sale or he gets you a pair of pajamas in your favorite color. -- Barton Goldsmith

10. Be a Good Date. Face it, no one can stay fascinating forever. After being together for a while, the initial excitement fades, and your guy can start to get kind of boring sometimes. Hey, don't think you're off the hook -- if you're feeling a little ho-hum about him, the feeling is likely mutual! To combat the blahs, take turns coming up with an interesting date idea every month. Keep the time and details to yourself, and try to think outside the box -- dinner and a movie is not exactly innovative. An awesome concert or a snowboarding lesson, for example, is a much less predictable treat. -- Jennifer Oikle

Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Adult / Sex / Singles Dating Sites

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Online Dating Resources

Singles Dating Sites

Friendfinder

Discover great friendships and romance from our network of more than one million active members. Contact singles, couples, and groups for dating, friendships, relationships, pen pals, you name it.

Senior Friendfinder

Dating for people with experience. It's never too late to fall in love. You'll find romance, friendships, relationships, pen pals, and more.

Gay Friendfinder

Find friendship and romance from more than 900,000 active members. If you're a gay single who's tired of the meat market, this is your site.



Regional Dating Sites

Amigos

Explore Latin love and friendship among our more than five million active members. Spanish singles, dating, friendship, romance, matchmaking, relationships, and more.

Asia Friendfinder

More than four million active Asian members looking for friendship and romance. Find local and international singles.

Filipino FriendFinder

The ultimate Filipino online personals. Thousands of Filipino singles here and abroad waiting to meet you.

FrenchFriendFinder

Encounter l'amour and more on the internet's premiere French online personals site. French singles, dating, friendship, romance, matchmaking, relationships, and more.

German FriendFinder

Search for German friendship and romance from thousands of active members. German singles, dating, and matchmaking.

Indian FriendFinder

Make Indian connections in your area from our more than 600,000 active members. Indian singles are waiting to meet you now for romance and friendship.

ItalianFriendFinder

Meet Italian singles on the ultimate Italian online personals site. Italian dates, friendship, romance, matchmaking, relationship, and more.

Korean FriendFinder

The ideal online destination for Korean connections. Find Korean singles looking for romance or friendship.


Religious Dating Sites

BigChurch

Share your faith with our more than 500,000 active members. The most popular place for bringing people together in love and faith.

JewishFriendFinder

Make Jewish connections locally and internationally from more than 100,000 active members. Connect with Jewish singles for romance or friendship, as well as couples and groups to share thoughts and fun.

Adult / Sex / Singles Dating Sites


Resources Sites

BreakThru

Get a free email address and block spam before it gets to your inbox - no matter how clever the spammers.

GradFinder

Three million members and growing. Reconnecting you with your school and college friends.

LikeMyPhoto

Post your photos and rank thousands of others. The only site where you can actually meet many of the people you see.

NudeCards

Send a naughty nude card.

QuizHappy

Learn more about yourself and discover your hidden talents and abilities. Share and compare scores with friends. Free to join.

Slim

Get paid to lose weight today. Free membership.